Liar liar pants on fire.

Being a blended family you always encounter problems with your ex husband or ex wife. Especially when there's children involved and you have a new significant other.

Lately my kids have been lying so much about certain things. It's upsetting me.

My daughter just recently lied about her Dad's wife stating that Miley isn't allowed to do Cheer leading this year because her daughter can't and she's tired of her daughter being left out. Well I certainly wasn't going allow that to happen. Her daughter doesn't even go to our schools for one and for two I wasn't going to allow my ex husbands wife to dictate what my daughter does.

It turns out my daughter lied about the whole entire thing!

I have thought about telling Miley she can't do cheer leading now. But I can't bring myself to it. But she really needs to have a sit down when her Dad's wife isn't watching every move I make.

There's been other stupid things that our kids have lied about. Another instance, tonight I sent my son Joe to his Moms for the weekend. He has ball practice tonight so I told him that he could just go to the practice in his cleats and I will bring his shoes. For whatever reason in this world, he told his Mother that I told him that he isn't allowed to take his school shoes over to her house. I don't know why he would say that, that was never mentioned.

I know that having six kids in the home and having some of them go see their Mom or Dad for their visits....They sometimes feel like they *have* to have the drama to make it normal...Perhaps because there's been drama for so long they feel they have to. I don't know.

But I literally want to explode...Every...Single...Time.


I don't know. I just felt like venting. Until next time......

Keeping my head above water.

If you know me well, you know  I've battled some pretty intense demons for a very long time. Recently I've faced those demons, but I've had such a hard time keeping them away.

I slipped into quite the depression the past couple of days. I've let myself get so run into the ground that I haven't given myself time to breath.

I've had people accuse me of pretending to be perfect...But clearly the statements above let you know I've never thought of myself as perfect, I just  to focus on the positive instead. Which is  a huge thing for me with all of the negative things I got going on in my head.


These past few days like I said, have been super hard for me. I get off of work, get the kids, do home work, sports, run errands, lately I've been running after school for check ups & dentist appointments.....Do all the home stuff (cook/clean/baths/laundry) and then repeat the next day. For some reason I have been feeling really down about all of it. I felt like no one actually appreciated the things that I do.

But then today, my husband sent me this text.." I just want you to know that you are a very special person destined for big and beautiful things. I am thankful that everyday I can wake up to you and look forward to the next."

That is literally the only thing I needed to hear to make me feel better. Sometimes as busy Mom's we NEED to hear how much we mean. All too often the things us Mother's do go un-noticed. Whether you are a working Mom or stay at home Mom. In my experience of being both, being a working Mom is seemingly much harder. This is only in my experience. Some of you are super stay-at-home Mom's and I will never ever down play what you do.

Keeping my head above water is harder some days. But I am doing it.

Until next time.........

Nik xoxox

The moment you know when everything comes together.

I know that some may not find this to be something that they would want people who do not know them very well to know....But here it goes anyway.


In 2005 I took my GED test and I failed the math. I didn't have a good support system to go back and try again, so I basically said to myself "screw it, you're stupid." And never tried again.

Since having gained independence that my husband showed me I could have, I have done so many things I thought I would never do.

Now being a working Mother of six and seeing that I am always pushing education on my children as being the number one priority in their lives, I've always had this sense of being a hypocrite. Number one, I didn't graduate high school. Number two, I didn't even get my GED.

Everything that I've learned in life has been self taught. But when you stick a math paper in front of my face I am going to look at you like you've just handed me something in hieroglyphics and asked me to translate. I just can't do it!

Today I called CSC and I've talked to Mr. Carlos that is doing intake. I've dealt with him before, and he went on the importance of completing the classes because of state funding and so on and so forth...because he had asked me if I had ever attended class before. After he had spoke to me about the importance, I gave him a little bit of my background to let him know *why* I did what I did.

I am not trying to make excuses for my failure. But when you're 17 years old with a baby and a boyfriend that doesn't really care what you do just as long as you're home to cook dinner by the time he gets off work.....You're really not going to do much with your life. I could have. But I had never been taught different. Women stay home with the kids and men go out and work and bring home the bacon...(I made a funny, my ex works for Farmland)

In October I will be taking classes to prepare myself for the GED testing. I don't know when I will be prepared but I believe with the help of my family and friends that I can accomplish anything. I have an amazing support system that I know will be here for me whenever I need them.

And now I will tell you why I am not embarrassed to tell my readers...

I want everyone to know that I am not the same person I once was 10 years ago. Yes, I make mistakes and yes I do sometimes say and do things that aren't necessarily something that should be said or done....I am human. But I have the confidence the size of five hundred elephants stacked on top of each other.

The fact that I *know* I can do anything that I put my mind to, is something that I am so damn proud of. That's something that no one could take from me. It is mine.

Until next time......

Vow Renewal

So two weekends ago  my husband and I decided to renew our vows. We did this because five years ago, we eloped and none of our children or family was involved. I tell you what, we couldn't have made a better decision.

First of all, we spent nearly 500 on the vow renewal which I was so impressed. I had gotten a lot of help and things for free. Our family was so supportive of this because the know how important this was to us.

Jay and I exchanged vows to ourselves and to our children. When my husband spoke his vows I cried like a baby. The things he said to the kids just made me fall in love with him all over again. I am so happy our children were able to be there to see how much we love each other. I am so happy that they were able to hear face to face, publicly, how much we love the kids.

Our best friends both were l**unfortunately** on a business trip/ working for the ocassion and they couldn't get out if. That was the only downfall of it all. But I know they could have been there if they didn't have work related things!!!!

My Dad walked me to my husband. Can I tell you how much that ment to me? I will explain the relationship between my Dad and I in another blog post. But I will tell you that it ment so much to me that he traveled all the way form Texas to be there for me.

I feel like the vow renewal was opening the next chapter of our life.

So with that...I will close.

Until next time!

Back to school!!!! *for five anyway* Every single parent I know is so excited that the kids have gone back. The only reason why I was excited for school to start, was because it would help our finances..... Eventually.

Jay and I were paying my sister because she gave up her summer to watch the kids for 60 bucks. Then you add on the food cost. We literally were spending over 600 bucks a month on food for the kids!


But when back to school expenses came along, my husband and I made sure that we got the kids too clothes and shoes but not break us. The kids got four outfits each & new shoes. I felt good about it.

But a part of me is angry because I feel like others don't give a shit about their children as much as we do. You are always seeing and hearing excuses and then seeing them smoke, eat out, go to the bar....You see so many parents with messed up priorities. But you have to remember that you have to suck it up and remember you aren't like that for a reason.

Then when you have back to school you have sports. My husband and I encourage our children to play sports even if it means that you're paying dearly. We have 3 boys in football and it was 200.00 just to sign them up.

I'm not complaining.....OK yes I am complaining. I want and choose for my kids to have everything they have...It IS my fault! Being a Mom and Dad of so many children we knew this day would come. But sometimes we just need to belly ache a bit! you know?

Well that's all for now....Until next time...

So I decided to blog again.


I don't know if anyone actually blogs anymore, since sometimes I feel as if I live under a rock. I don't know what's "in" or "out"....


I figured it would be a good way to get my feelings out like I used to. Share my stories.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for my very first blog post that talks about what's on my mind or what's going on!